Don't mind me, friends. I just can't sleep, and what's worse is I can't bring myself to write anything constructive. I just feel like talking, so here are some random thoughts...

I just read a bunch of prompts from a fabulous online prompt calander my dear friend ~Ranna reccomended to me. ~bfp talked about this a little with me the other day, and I realize I have the same problem he does -- I just can't write about anything happy. With every prompt I read I immediately thought of a few sentences, once in a while a premise, but it was all kind of dark. Then again, what's a story without conflict? Something I can't write, that's what.

On top of that, I think I'm stuck in a style, too. There's nothing wrong with it I guess, but whenever I try to venture out into something different, it ends up sucking a least a little bit.

I've spent the last two years on a musical that still isn't finished, and I don't like half the music. I haven't given up on it, but it's on hold until I can get better equipment that doesn't limit me. The point is, I didn't really do any writing the whole time I was working on it, and now I'm back to it. After two years of leaving Miko buried on my computer I've decided to fix it up and try to get it published, and now that I'm not working on the musical I've started working on the sequel. On top of that, I'm active in DA again (somewhat).

Isn't it funny that I'm back to taking on a major writing project, and at the same time I'm all prompt crazy again? As if writing a book isn't enough at the moment, I wanna start grinding out short stories too. What the hell?

It's work, too, dammit. I don't just have a strong urge every day to spend hours in front of my computer and work out a storyline. In fact, it's pretty rare for me to start writing something because I want to. Don't get me wrong -- I want the final result. I mean I want the stories and books to be written...I'm just lazy and lack motivation. However, I think it's important to do "it" on a daily basis, "it" being whatever it is you do. If I were a painter I'd try to paint every day, even if I didn't feel like it. If I only did "it" when I felt like it, I'd never get the practice in to get good "it," and i wouldn't have very much work to my name. And you know what? There's never been a time when I regret making myself get started. Usually once I'm about fifteen minutes or so into my writing, that resistance is gone and I enjoy it again. So lately I've been hiding the clock on my computer and setting an egg timer. I tell myself I only have to write for an hour (or half hour if I'm feeling particularly stubborn), and then I can stop, no matter where I am. It's very effective. Today, for instance, I wrote for more than two hours because I wanted to finish the chapter I was on.

Okay, so I'm rambling now. The point is, if you wait around to be inspired, you can end up in ruts and dry periods. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I stop writing or composing, I feel a little empty and can get depressed by it. If I skip a day I'm usually all right, but if I go for two days without writing, it's hard to get back on the horse. The next thing you know it's two years later. The sequel, by the way, is named Sonata, and I hit 7,000 words today.

Time for bed. Thanks for listening, journal.